No, I Don’t Want to Be in Your Mom Group (But Also… Why Didn’t You Invite Me?)

Introducing: Real Housewives of Preschool Pickup.

There’s a particular image that fills me with dread: a group of women in their mid-30s to 40s, piled onto some perfectly curated vacation, Aperol Spritzes aloft, coordinated outfits, bathing suits neutral. The vibe oscillates between Bachelor contestant reunion and cult retreat, complete with a ZARA Uhaul. Captioned, inevitably: “My girls. Couldn’t do l…